Inspired Leaders

Hello! Summer is creeping in upon us. For anyone who may have scoffed at my chills in the mild Taiwanese winter, I have only this to say in my defense: Yes, it is much colder in Iowa (or Utah, or Ohio) in the winter than it is here, but you don't put on a skirt and bike around in it do you? No. Also, when your home is colder than it is outside and the unreliable water heater sometimes robs you of a hot shower, however mild the chill may be, it can get down to your bones and stay there. But it is a blessing that the winter is not slippery, and in the end, really not that cold. I'm also grateful that it doesn't rain nearly as much in the winter as the summer. There are many aspects of Taiwanese winter for which I am very grateful, but I won't pretend that I never passed a cold day.

This past week we had our interviews with President Hsu. I look forward to this once-a-move opportunity to sit down with him, one-on-one, and talk about anything. He's so in tune with the Spirit and our needs. He always seems to know exactly what to say, even if it takes me a few weeks to figure it out. When I think back on the counsel he's given me since I got on island, I realize how much it has shaped the way I've worked to improve and change. To think that he does that for hundreds of missionaries during his time as mission president is amazing. I'm sure without divine assistance it would be impossible; he simply doesn't have enough time to get to know our needs that deeply on his own. Every interview, he says an opening prayer. He asks for the guidance of the Holy Ghost. And then he'll usually ask me a question, maybe about how my companion is, or to find out what's been on my mind recently. He'll invite me to ask him questions, about the scriptures, doing missionary work, personal concerns, etc. Sometimes it seems that his answer doesn't quite respond to the question I asked, but the miracle is that he tells me exactly what I need to know right then; like answering the question I wanted to ask, but didn't know how. That's one of my strongest witnesses that he is called of God, and that it is God leading the work, not a man.

Dual Equilibria

The week flew by. One of the highlights was definitely our investigator Sister Lin's baptism on Saturday night. She's been wanting to get baptized ever since I met her last month. The preparation process was none too easy; she had to do some really difficult things to get there, but she did it! The member turnout was really good, which is a wonderful way for someone as they become a brand new member of the church to feel the love and support system they're inheriting. Her boss, who is also the stake president, rushed back from a meeting in Kaohsiung to perform the ordinance. She was probably the least nervous of anyone I've seen yet to be completely immersed in water.

After the service, we all gathered in the kitchen for celebratory goodies. She told Sister Ma and me that from the moment the baptism was completed she felt happier than she had in a long time. She was positively glowing. Her husband, who is not a member of the church, attended, along with their two children. At church on Sunday, she was confirmed a member of the church and received the gift of the Holy Ghost. The confirmation is necessary to complete baptism. When we're baptized, we covenant with God that we are willing to take the name of Christ upon us and to obey His commandments. He cleanses all of our past transgressions, and through the gift of the Holy Ghost allows us to have the companionship of the Holy Ghost as long as we're worthy. That blessing helps us uphold our part of the covenant, because the Spirit will protect us and teach us what is true so that we can make good decisions.

To prepare for this covenant, a person needs to develop faith in Christ and change his/her life to be in harmony with God's commandments. That process of repentance is ongoing, continuing far beyond baptism, but it has to be begun before baptism. Seeing Sister Lin so full of light and joy, especially after walking part of that preparatory road with her, provided another witness to me of the power of the gospel to make us happy as we apply it, and also that blessings really do come after the trial of our faith. Also, I think I learned a lot about how painful changes really can be worthwhile when they are for the sake of something true.

Somewhere in the cobwebs of my pre-mission memories I remember an simple economic model in which there are two equilibria. One is more desireable than the other. However, if you're already at the less-desireable one, you have to go through some sort of costly process to get to the more desireable one. During the process, you may temporarily be worse off than you were when you were just sitting on the original equilibrium, but if you stick it out until you get to the more desireable one, the long-term benefits will outweigh the cost of getting there. I think that's sort of like the repentance process. Everything seems to be going along just fine, and then you find out that something you're doing isn't what God wants you to be doing. In the process of changing, you may be more sad or experience frustrations that you didn't have before. But in the end, you arrive at a place that is happier than you ever were before, and through your continued obedience, you can enjoy that state forever. I love the gospel. And economics.

(Note: If anyone who actually understands the model I alluded to reads this and is appalled by my oversimplification and likely errors, please try to take account for the knowledge atrophy that has taken place over the last 10 months in terms of anything I ever learned in school. There will be plenty time to relearn things later.)

(Another sidenote: In a previous email, I referred to the phrase "xing ku." My recent studies in Chinese characters have brought to my attention that the correct pinyin is actually "xin ku.")

An Exciting Change

Let's start with some of the most recent news: As of July 1st, the three missions in Taiwan will become two missions. It sounds like the Kaohsiung Mission will be absorbed into the Taichung Mission, and part of what is currently the Taichung Mission will become part of the Taipei mission. The timing coincides with the end of President Hsu's three years as a mission president. This is, of course, a decision which can only made by the first presidency of the church (the prophet and his two counselors), doubtless with much consultation with the area authorities. I don't know all the reasons for this change, although I suspect that at least one factor is the shrinking number of full-time missionaries. It's so exciting to feel like my day-to-day life is governed by revelation directly to a living prophet! There's not much for me to do now except prepare spiritually for the change and testify to the members that it is inspired. I am completely confident that this is exactly what should happen, because I have complete trust in the leaders through whom the revelation came. I'm still going to seek a personal confirmation of this specific decision. That confirmation will be important to maintaining the best attitude throughout the transition. I'm sure there will be a few challenges along the way, but also lots of good things; in fact, I suspect that the challenges will be all for the best as well. Plus, as an added bonus, I get to be in the same mission as my dear MTC companion, Sister Nelson.

Last week we had Zone Conference again. This time it was centered around using time effectively (the move focus). I think every missionary there learned lots of ways to repent, or to become better. At one point after some teaching about what it means to use time effectively, little ways that we might waste time, etc., Sister Hsu (President Hsu's wife) asked, "So how do you all feel?" An elder managed to sum up our collective emotion with a single word: "Guilty." We all laughed, even though it was basically true. It's good to feel guilty sometimes, though, because recognizing what needs to change is usually a necessary step to changing it. Sister Ma and I learned a lot of ways that we can do better, and started putting them into practice that very day. Now we're seeing the blessings of following our schedule with more precision, doing our daily planning session each night according to guidelines that get us focused on the needs of people, etc. Repenting is so good. It's a little painful at the beginning, but things always get better than they ever were before if you just stick it out. There's always more to improve on, but the Lord has a way of pointing out the things to focus on at any given time.

As part of Zone Conference, Sister Hsu shared a video on bicycle safety. Though the contents were helpful, it was a pretty hilarious movie. I think my favorite part was when the narrating voice (appropriately deep and solemn to impress upon our very souls the importance of bike safety) pointed out that some missionaries may think because they are on the Lord's errand, they could not possibly incur physical injury, but, he warned us, "you are still subject to the effects of natural laws." I'm not sure I've ever questioned that point, but I'll try to keep it firmly in mind.

Meaningful Goals

These last 10 days have flown, but so much has happened that it feels like forever ago that I emailed home. I forget sometimes that Sister Ma and I have only been companions for that brief week and a half. She really is a wonderful companion and missionary. She has a lot of faith and energy in everything she does, and it gets me really excited about things. She's an especially good example to me of goal-setting. Missionaries set goals quite frequently--at least every night in our planning session for the next day, and also goals for the week in our weekly planning session. Still, I feel like I have so much to understand about goals and how to use them. There's a quote in Preach My Gospel (the book missionaries, and also church members, study about how to do missionary work; it includes material to be taught to investigators, but also chapters on topics such as how to do the work by the Holy Ghost, how to use time effectively, developing Christlike attributes, etc.) that says:

"I am so thoroughly convinced that if we don't set goals in our life and learn how to master the techniques of living to reach our goals, we can reach a ripe old age and look back on life only to see that we reached but a small part of our full potential. When one learns to master the principle of setting a goal, he will then be able to make a great difference in the results he attains in this life." (Elder Ballard, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, PMG p.146)

Every time I read this quote I realize that I have some repenting to do in this area. I have definitely not yet mastered "the principle of setting a goal," let alone "the techniques of living to reach our goals," but I believe that it must be critical to reaching my full potential. I also remember something I learned from our Zone Conference last move. We had a visiting area authority, Elder Anthony Perkins (area authorities are church leaders who preside over specific geographical areas of the world). He told us that when he was younger and called to be an elders quorum president (a local leader in a ward or branch of the church), he and his two counselors sat down to set some goals. They set goals about things like what kinds of lessons they would have every Sunday, how many activities they would have, what percentage of the brethren in their quorum would do their home teaching, etc. He then took these goals to the bishop. The bishop reviewed them, and then gave him some correction. He pointed out that the goals were not centered on the salvation of souls. They then reconsidered their goals, and were able to make meaningful differences in the lives of individuals. Elder Perkins pointed out that their original goals weren't bad, but they weren't getting at the most important point of their service. So recently as we set our companionship goals, and as I consider my personal goals, I've been trying to think more than usual about the real purpose. Why do I want to memorize Chinese characters? Why do I want to be familiar with the scriptures? Why do we want to find some number of new people to teach every week? All of those are means to a greater end, like being able to read the scriptures in Chinese with those we teach and expound to their understanding and the strengthening of their faith. And their increased understanding and faith are only a part of the larger process of enduring conversion. The good news is that the Lord still seems willing to work through us even though our efforts are always imperfect; I'm grateful to say from personal experience that whether or not we receive Lord's blessings is largely dependent on our doing our best, not on how good our best is.